Facebook Adds New Meaning to Parental Oversight

I remember the day I joined Facebook.  Another day I remember is the day my mom joined Facebook.  When I received the email alert that my mom had requested to be friends with me, I did not hesitate to “Confirm” that request. 

Why? 

Well, as I’m nearly 30 years old and married with 2 children, having my mom know what I’m doing, where I’m “checked in” and knowing my status is fine with me.  I’m a grown woman with nothing to hide. 

However, I can’t help but think if I’d be so quick to have been “friends” with my mom on Facebook if it had existed years ago when I was growing up.  I can honestly say to you that I don’t know, but I'd like to think I would have wanted to.   

I say this mostly because the parent/child relationships were different back then, as it probably was with your parents.  This is not to say it’s better or worse or that I was a mischievous child– it was just simply different.

Even as early as a decade ago, for the majority of the population, technology was seen as a benefit more than a daily ritual.  In 2007, technology and social media changed when Facebook opened its virtual doors to not only college students  but anybody who had a valid email address. 

Chances are your kids have a Facebook address if they have an email address (and they do not live under a rock).  

Today, according to Facebook, there are over 500 million active users on Facebook where the average user has 130 friends.

So, back to the question at hand - Should you be friends with you children on Facebook?

My opinion is yes, regardless of the age of your children.   Here’s why.

Modern day parenting has quite a few challenges these days.  One of the many culprits in our society is the rise of social media.  If you add that with the challenges kids are dealing with at a much earlier age – such as bullying, school violence, drugs, alcohol, sex, etc., it is, at times, a tricky combination. The Internet alone has its own safety issues. 

Now, when you are willingly joining a social networking site that changes its privacy settings unbeknownst to you (let alone your 12-year-old) it can have some negative consequences.  

In some extreme cases, people have had their houses robbed because they posted a status that they were away on vacation or out of the country. Others have been victims of stalking due to posting too frequently of their whereabouts.

What about the awkwardness of what your child is “putting out there” on the World Wide Web?

According to a study conducted by Retrevo.com – it is awkward but not out of the question:

FaceBook-using parents in this study were almost evenly divided with about 48% saying they are Facebook friends with their kids, where as 52% said they are not. Andrew Eisner, director of content at Retrevo adds, "It looks like more parents with teenage children are more likely to be friends with their kids, although many admit it can be awkward at times but they say they do learn a lot about their teenagers, which is probably why children are so hesitant to “friend” their parents to begin with."

Shouldn’t you be finding out exactly what is going on from your child rather than a status update or a relationship change notification? 

Well, of course!  As parents it is important that we protect our children even when they don’t know or understand that they need protecting.   

Furthermore, we know it is critical to have open lines of communication and to have a safe and trusting environment at home.  Technology (computer, TV, cell phone or otherwise) can completely obstruct these interactions from happening. 

If you aren’t sure if your kids have a Facebook account or you yourself have not yet signed up, you may want to consider doing so by asking them and sending them a friend request!   

Here is a helpful article for some tips for what not to share on Facebook for safety purposes.