A New Year's View

To be completely honest, when the holiday season started (Thanksgiving), I was really down; it’s just not the same without my mother. Holidays are hard for those of us who have lost loved ones. And without my mother, I tend to try and ignore the festivities. She always put the ‘Merry’ in Xmas, and I thought that without her, it was lost. I truly had settled into the thought of ignoring the holiday sales, the bright lights and the clatter on the roof, but I was nudged to be aware. And this year, my heart is much lighter. It is all due to the love of those around me.

Oh what a wonderful Christmas it was. Christmas Eve and Christmas with friends; what more can one ask for? A new car? A million dollars? A new wardrobe? Nine lives? Sure, but I’m happy to have the things that I do have. Okay. Maybe it’s not that easy to reach my happy place. Maybe it takes more effort than I have shown here. But, Christmas shouldn’t be about materialistic desires; that I do know. So, being the ‘big girl’ that I am, I move on.

Christmas has passed; I’m looking on to the New Year.  And thanks to the best friends in the world -- who repeatedly reminded me of what the holidays are supposed to be about – I too am ready to spread peace and goodwill.

Looking at the real meaning of Christmas, beyond commercialism, I realize that Christmas is bigger than I am and that I need to look within. And, if I truly believe someone is watching over us – which I do – I have to continue. I believe that ‘He’ gives us life and we don’t have the right to squander it. ‘He’ has given me a chance to make my own choices. And my mother taught me how to make good choices. So, it is up to me to follow through. Moving into the New Year, I try to keep that in mind.

As I sit down to ponder my plan for 2012, I remind myself that I don’t make New Year’s resolutions.  I never fulfilled my resolutions, so now, I try to be realistic. When I was younger, my list looked a little like this: 1. Buy a new car 2. Get a great job 3. Lose 15 pounds 4. Find an amazing boyfriend. Yes, my list was a once a year overarching list.

Now, I have a list of life goals and each day that is what I strive for. Why wait until a New Year to make a bunch of promises to myself that I know I can’t keep? Re-evaluation is the key. If I want to lose weight, I look at small things like having a bottle of water today and reminding myself to have another tomorrow, and the day after. Those are the things that go a long way to improving my health and losing weight. Therefore, instead of making New Year resolutions, I re-evaluate my goals and try to include more ways to help others. To me, each morning brings a chance to make ‘New Day Resolutions.’ The benefit to this is the continuity it offers. By reevaluating every day, I get a sense not only of how to make small, subtle changes, but also see how far I have already come and greatly improve the odds of my success.

Melissa’s advice: Add one community service activity to your goal list this year.

And, no matter what you are celebrating during this time of the year – Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanza, New Year’s Eve, Festivus – remember to take some time to say thank you for your blessings. And as the New Year approaches, please be safe and drink responsibly.