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Holding onto "Me" as a Mom

Does being a mom mean losing a little bit of yourself?

There are some days when I think back to the life of leisurely dinners out with my husband and good friends, last-minute weekend trips or lounging a little longer in bed on a Sunday morning.  

Luckily, those days aren’t gone, but they have taken a back-seat to our life now with our kids. 

When you become a parent, you know it is the most amazing, life changing experience – both figuratively and literally.  You feel as if you could never love someone more.  Ever.  

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Yet, somehow, while that love grew and grew for my children, somehow it diminished the “love” I seemed to show myself. 

Even though it was a choice we made, I started to feel guilty for wanting to be kid-free for a few hours and feeling I needed to be away from my children. I started to feel like something was wrong with me for feeling like that.  These are the types of things I like to call the “dark-side” of parenting. 

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However, I’m here to tell you it is in fact completely normal to feel that way and it does not make you a bad parent.  In fact – it may make you a better one.  

I came across two great posts on the subject with some excellent tips:

A slight part of the problem is I love being with my kids! Even though I still find it hard to take time away from my kids, it’s become something I’m very aware of now because it is healthy and important for everyone.  

So now that I’m aware of it, what am I doing about it?  I’ve decided it’s time to focus on myself again.* I’m reconnecting with my friends and making sure my husband and I continue to take time for each other. 

Additionally, my daughter is in just a week or so now and that will be great for her, too.  In time, it will be easier as our kids get older. 

Even though I let a little piece of myself go in becoming a mother, I’ve found it’s easy to get it back and I’ve gained so much more in the “sacrifice”.

If you’re looking for a great laugh and an honest take on motherhood, check out Scary Mommy.

*Editor's note: Carly started a new job with Plum District and continues her . 

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